Legacy of FAIL

Listening to Dr. Watson's intro lecture on database theory and management was a downer. Not because of his engaging elocution. But his comprehensive analysis and explanation about fundamental data collection, management and interpretation could've been used as an airtight closing argument against certain aspects of my company in the Court of What Not To Do with Data. The majority of data issues I'm wading through on a daily basis were caused by poor foresight in data collection and management a few years back. The picture painted of a nimble corporate entity built on efficient, robust data systems designed for quick reaction and solid forecasting is a paradigm to work towards...

If there wasn't a massive 800-pound gorilla scowling at you from across the room.

I learned a new swear word in the class: Legacy System. Yes. Legacy System (all caps like He Who Must Not Be Name). Next time someone does something ridiculously stupid, infuriating and stubborn but I lack the power to ask them to leave, I will refer to them as a Legacy System. While they're laughing off my stupid insult, I'll understand the vitriol of my comment (and regret it later).

Seriously, from firsthand experience, a Legacy System  can hamstring a company's progress by years. System inefficiencies gobble up man power (which costs money) on tasks that should be controlled by simple button clicks. Data spread throughout multiple systems can't be accurately compared, updated or tracked in a useful ways. And overall data management picture is a sloppy mud puddle.

This best way to describe a legacy system is like this:

Which data management system should we choose?

This one? This one looks good.

At some point in the future, you might have a problem.

And you might think you've solved it...so you go to lunch or home or an amusement park.

Good times...

 But Legacy System hates good times.

 Really? The system just did WHAT!?!

Legacy System reveals itself for the first time.

You threaten to replace it but, inside, you know how empty that sounds.

 

Legacy System mocks your hard work and effort with frustrating displays of inefficiency.

And that's on Monday...

(special thanks to Alien in Pictures)

One Giant Step...

Grad School.

After 8 years in the work force, I'm back in school (while still maintaining the day job). Despite the new academic black hole that's swallowing my time, my Tuesday and Thursday nights (goodbye Two-for-Tuesday wing specials and Thursday night football) and the recurrence of a childhood nightmare, homework, I'm energized. Shocking. The first few classes have been conducted in an engaging manner with an emphasis on function, practicality and implementation instead of theory, the aging cadaver most students hone their skills with. Or the upper might be this attempt at a bribe by the MIT department.

iPhone. Awesome. Drool (which won't damage the phone. Tested and passed!).

If my third grade teacher taught math with a Gameboy, I might be an engineer right now.

Even database programming is fun when you're told a goal is to create an app for the iPhone.

Actually, database programming, and programming in general, is similar to editing, which I do at my job. The premise of crafting a language to follow a specific set of rules and syntax is an easy concept. Learning the language is the difficult part.

So let's hope the MIT program goes better for me than Conversational French. Despite the high resale value, that text book made a great effigy at a Christmas party in college.

Then again, French III didn't come with an iPhone.